just reread my old chat history. ours, lebih tepatnya. i don't remember being that lively. typing with those cringe and embarrassing yet vulnerable and brave words. i miss that. i miss my old self who had enough courage to be herself freely. to just say whatever the fuck she wanted to say. sekarang, makin dewasa bukannya makin lepas bebas, malah makin hati-hati. as if i want everything under my control when it's impossible. i can't control everything. and i know that. yet i still try to sometime